We went out for a few drinks and ended up sleeping together. If it wasn't for this guy reminding me what it felt like to be wanted and appreciated, and showing me that I did deserve better, I never would have built up the courage to leave the man I was with.
My friend and I never started dating, but we're still good friends to this day. I started feeling like I didn't need him in my life anymore and I was happy without him. Then my ex came into town. I was out at a bar and drunkenly asked my ex to pick me up. I stayed over and we had sex. I woke up at, like, am in complete shock and disgust with myself.
I walked out of his apartment, clothes in hand and nothing but his shirt on. I wandered through the apartment complex waiting for my Uber and I felt that my life had never been so in shambles. Since that night, I have been so grateful for my boyfriend, and have a deeper understanding and appreciation for him. If I never cheated on him, I don't think our relationship would have survived. It opened my eyes to how much I loved him. I would tell him I would be hanging out with these guys at all hours of the night and all he would say was something like, 'Have fun.
It got to the point where I went to Canada overnight with a guy — and I told him about it before it happened — and he didn't even question it or anything. This is when I knew I needed a change.
I don't regret anything. Fast-forward three years later, and I was dating a wonderful guy. The conversation was lovely, we were both very interested in the same types of music, had fantastic date nights, and a great sex life. For a few moments, I thought he could be The One. One afternoon, walking to the library to study, I literally ran into my high school ex.
He ended up walking me to the library and sharing a table where we had a nonstop catching-up session. It was late when we finally walked back to the dorms, and he invited me up to keep catching up. As soon as the door shut, sparks were flying and we ended up on the floor, clothes in every direction. I broke up with my then-boyfriend the next day.
And my high school sweetheart? We're getting married in four months. We had been arguing for a few months and he was so distant, barely talking to me or giving me the time of day. I met a guy at school and he was everything I could have ever wanted.
He made me feel a way I had never felt before, even without doing anything physical. I instantly knew he was the guy for me, but I was already in a committed relationship, so I was very confused.
We did end up getting physical and I decided to break things off with my boyfriend. Me and the guy are still together, and now we're getting ready to move in with each other. He still makes me feel like he did the first day we met. I don't think we would have ended up together if I didn't cheat.
He had cheated on me before, and I forgave him, but as we grew up together, I grew into a person he couldn't control anymore. I was pushed to my limits and when I was pushed enough, I was pushed right into someone else's arms. The guy I cheated on my boyfriend with knew how mentally damaging my relationship was; he was my best friend.
We told each other everything. One night, I ended up in my best friend's arms and things got carried away. Cheaters are usually insecure. Insecurity is a common theme in all our lives, and to seek relief from those insecurities is desirable, even if just for a moment. Temporarily masking these insecurities requires ego-boosting actions, and cheating is a temporary quick-fix to satiate feelings of inadequacy.
The cheater can gain satisfaction, like a temporary high, but risks feeling even worse after the act of cheating than they did before cheating.
They have bypassed dealing with the real issues and added a heap of guilt to the pile. A vicious cycle spins now because, without dealing with the underlying issues, the cheater may then feel the need to keep cheating in order to continue gratifying those feelings of inadequacy.
Thus, cheating becomes a regularity, and the underlying personal insecurities have yet to be dealt with. Personal inadequacies are legitimate, but must be resolved with self-confrontation. What is the number one answer? The survey says…get therapy!
Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts 13 year veteran of ballet. They feel like it adds a length to their thing whenever they cheat. Excitement really dies. I saw on my newsfeed once about the ad in the billboard when her husband cheated. Kinda thought it was real but that was funny af.
The truth that lives there will eventually win out. So let the truth win out. You love your boyfriend, but you loathe the constraints that your relationship with him places upon you. You see a future with him, but you want a lot of other men in your present. Tell your boyfriend these truths and see where it leads you. It could be an open relationship, it could be a breakup, or it could be that the two of you talk about what you truly long for in your erotic lives and you find a way to get it while remaining monogamous.
In most cases, there are only two ways out of it. You either bring about disaster by some manner of reckless behavior, or you tell the truth. Steve Almond : I want to say a quick word about your signoff.
Your sexuality belongs to you and nobody else. Your job is to own it. That means, as Cheryl suggests, being honest about your desires. Policing yourself into silence is almost never a good idea.
They become spring-loaded with the force of our suppression. You need to speak with your wonderful boyfriend, the one you tell us is not the least bit jealous.